My husband asked me to sleep in the garage while his mother stayed in our house because she “didn’t feel comfortable” around me. I thought he was joking — he wasn’t. So I agreed, on one condition. I’ve always known my husband was a mama’s boy.

The kind who straightens his back when her name pops up on his phone, like she might reach through the screen and correct his posture herself. The only reason our marriage survived for so long was that we lived in different towns, two hours apart.

Lorraine stayed in her town, we stayed in ours, and everything worked until the day geography stopped being a barrier. Lorraine did visit… occasionally and never for longer than a few hours, thank God!

She’d step through the door, and her eyes would start scanning for flaws before she even said hello.

“This place always feels drafty,” she’d say, pulling her cardigan tighter. “You still haven’t fixed that cabinet?” She’d tap the loose hinge with one manicured fingernail. She’d look me up and down and say, “You’ve been supporting Goodwill, I see.

How giving of you.”

Once, I watched her run a finger along the windowsill and frown at the result.

She held it up to the light, examining the thin layer of dust like evidence in a trial. Jake, my husband, would laugh nervously.

“Mom, come on.”

Lorraine would smile then, satisfied. Mission accomplished.

Then she’d leave, and we’d breathe again.

Control reestablished until next time. But then came the phone call that changed everything. “I’ll be in your town for a full week,” she said over speakerphone, her voice filling our kitchen like an unwelcome guest.

“Business meetings.”

Jake’s eyebrows shot up so fast I almost laughed.

“A whole week?”

My stomach dropped. A week of Lorraine’s spiteful barbs and passive-aggressive remarks?

I leaned against the counter, listening, waiting to see how Jake would handle this. He cleared his throat.

“There are hotels—”

“That’s ridiculous,” Lorraine snapped.

“You have a house, a very nice one too.”

Then came the real problem. She lowered her voice. “You know I don’t feel comfortable around her.”

I was speechless.

Jake eyed me nervously.

“And I’m your mother! Do I need to remind you I’m the one who gifted that house to you?

She must go. I’m always the only woman in the house, and I will not share space with your slovenly wife.”

I rolled my eyes.