Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) manifests in a multitude of ways, often leading to confusion and distress for those involved. When asked, psychologist Kathleen Saxton discussed the importance of understanding the signs and to steer clear of any tendencies narcissists display. “The criteria for being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder is a wide spectrum… around 0.5%–1% of people will be formally diagnosed, but the number of people with narcissism is growing.”Despite its prevalence, NPD remains widely misunderstood and misused as a term. Saxton emphasizes the need for vigilance in identifying behaviors linked to narcissism, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships where manipulation can be done subtly yet are extremely damaging.1 A hallmark trait of narcissists, as noted by Saxton, is their way of withholding attention and affection as a means to control their partner. This tactic is often used during the early phase of a relationship (AKA “the honeymoon phase”) and involves over-the-top displays of affection followed by a sudden withdrawal and indifference. Victims find themselves trapped in a love bombing/emotional neglect cycle and struggle to reconcile the hot and cold behavior coming from their partner.2

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Read More: Why People Who Share Post-Workout Selfies May Have Psychological ProblemsStonewalling, the silent treatment, withdrawing their affection, and unexpectedly disappearing without explanation are common techniques designed to cause emotional pain and assert a feeling of need. Research has suggested that these forms of withholding can activate the same parts of the brain as the ones during physical pain, showing just how profound these behaviors can be to victims.