Hope is a dangerous thing when it arrives wearing your dead child’s smile.
Five years ago, I buried my only son.
Most days, I move through the world as Ms. Rose — dependable kindergarten teacher, keeper of extra tissues, finder of lost mittens. My classroom is bright. My voice is steady. I know how to clap twice and bring twenty five-year-olds back to order.But behind every routine is a quiet absence.
Owen was nineteen when the phone rang.
I remember the cocoa he’d left unfinished on the counter. I remember how my hands trembled when I answered.
“Rose? Is this Owen’s mom?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“This is Officer Bentley. I’m so sorry. There’s been an accident. Your son—”The words that followed never fully settled into meaning.
“A taxi. A drunk driver. He didn’t… he didn’t suffer.”
He didn’t suffer.
That sentence became the rope people threw me, as if it could pull me out of the dark. The week after blurred into casseroles, hymnals, and hollow reassurances.
“You’re not alone, Rose,” Mrs. Grant whispered at the cemetery.
But I was. I pressed my palm into fresh dirt and said, “Owen, I’m still here, baby. Mom’s still here.”
Five years passed. I stayed in the same house. I folded my grief into lesson plans and construction paper crafts. Children have a way of keeping you tethered to the present.
“Ms. Rose, did you see my picture?”
“Beautiful, Caleb. Is that your dog or a dragon?”
“Both!”
That kind of magic kept me upright.
Then one Monday morning, everything shifted.
At 8:05, our principal, Ms. Moreno, stepped into my classroom with a new student.
“This is Theo,” she said gently. “He just transferred.”
Theo clutched a dinosaur backpack and a green raincoat. Brown hair slightly too long. Watchful eyes. He gave me a careful, lopsided half-smile.
And that’s when I saw it.