When my only son died, I thought I’d buried every chance at family. Five years later, a new boy entered my classroom with a familiar birthmark and a smile that shattered everything I thought I’d healed. I wasn’t ready for what came next, or the hope it brought with it.
Hope is dangerous when it shows up wearing your dead child’s identical birthmark.
Five years ago, I buried my son.
Some mornings, the ache still feels as sharp as that first phone call.
Most people see me as Ms.
Rose, the reliable kindergarten teacher with extra tissues and band-aids.
But behind every routine, I carry a world that’s missing one person.
I used to think loss would heal.
My world ended the night I lost Owen. The hardest part isn’t the funeral or the empty house; it’s how life insists on continuing, even when yours has stopped.
**
He was 19 the night the phone rang.
I remember the way my hands shook as I answered, Owen’s half-finished mug of cocoa still warm on the counter.
“Yes. Who is this?” I asked.
“This is Officer Bentley.
I’m so sorry. There’s been an accident. Your son —”
I pressed the phone to my ear, the world narrowing to a single sound.
“A taxi.
A drunk driver. He didn’t… he didn’t suffer,” the officer tried.
I couldn’t remember if I said anything at all.
The next week vanished into casseroles and murmured prayers.
Friends and strangers came and went, their voices blending into a dull hum. Mrs. Grant from next door handed me a lasagna and squeezed my shoulder.
“You’re not alone, Rose,” she said, her voice shaking.
I tried to believe her.
At the cemetery, Pastor Reed offered to walk with me to the grave.
“I can manage, thank you,” I insisted, even though my knees nearly buckled.
I pressed my hand to the dirt, whispering, “Owen, I’m still here, baby.
Mom’s still here.”
Five years went by before I knew it. I stayed in the same house, poured myself into teaching, and tried to laugh when my students handed me lopsided drawings.
“Ms. Rose, did you see my picture?”
“Beautiful, Caleb!
Is that your dog or a dragon?”
“Both!” he grinned.
And that’s what kept me going.
It was Monday again. I parked in my usual spot, whispered, “Let me make today count,” and walked into the noise of the morning bell.
Sara at the front desk waved, and I smiled back, shouldering my bag and a sense of calm I worked hard to fake.
