I was 32 the day I found out I wasn’t really an orphan. But at that point, I’d already buried three people: my mom, my dad, and then my grandma. At least, that’s how I thought it went.
The letter showed up three days after her funeral.
Same old kitchen table. Same ugly vinyl. Same empty chair with her cardigan still hanging off the back. The house smelled like dust and faint cinnamon, like it was trying to remember her.The envelope had my name on it in her handwriting.
I stared at it for a full minute.
“Nope,” I muttered. “Absolutely not.”Then I made tea I didn’t want because that’s what she would’ve done. Kettle on, two mugs out of habit, even though one of us was very much dead.
“You’ll rot your teeth, bug,” she’d always say when I put too much sugar in.
“You like it that way too,” I’d remind her.
“Doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” She’d sniff.
The kettle whistled. I poured. Sat down. Finally opened the envelope.My girl, it began.
If you’re reading this, my stubborn heart finally gave up. I’m sorry to leave you alone again.
Again?
I frowned, but kept going.
Before I tell you the hard thing, I want you to remember something: you were never unwanted. Not for a single second.When I “became an orphan.”
It was a rainy day. Adults talked in low voices. A social worker told me there’d been “a bad car crash.”
“Instant,” she said. “They didn’t feel a thing.”
I remember staring at the stains on the carpet instead of her face.
Then Grandma walked in.