Three mischievous old grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old grandpa walked by.
One of the grannies shouted: “Hey there! We bet we can tell you exactly how old you are!”

The old man laughed and said, “No way you can guess that, you crazy old ladies!”

One granny winked and said, “Sure, we can! Just drop your pants and underwear, and we’ll tell you your exact age!”

The grandpa, feeling a little embarrassed but eager to prove them wrong, dropped his pants.

The grannies inspected carefully — asked him to turn around twice, jump up and down a few times…

Then they all yelled out together: “You’re 87 years old!”

Shocked, the grandpa pulled up his pants and asked, “How in the world did you guess that??

The grannies burst out laughing and said, “We were at your birthday party yesterday!”

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Officer Pulls Over 5 Old Ladies For Driving Too SlowSitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He says to himself, “This driver is as dangerous as a Speeder!”

He turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he realizes that there are five old ladies – two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand. I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”