I thought hiring a young caregiver for my 82-year-old mom would finally let me relax a little—until a strange pattern on their Sunday walks and a few seconds of doorbell audio made me realize there was something going on between them that no one was telling me about.
I’m 58, have been married for 33 years, raised three kids to adulthood, and I still somehow managed to get blindsided by my own life like a bad soap opera plot.
People think life gets quiet when the kids move out. What actually happens is the noise just changes. Less “Mom, where’s my backpack?” and more “Mom, have you considered long-term care insurance and a medical power of attorney?”
I teach high school English.
I live on coffee, teenagers’ drama, and essays about symbolism that absolutely isn’t there. My husband, Mark, is an electrical engineer—steady, practical, the kind of man who can fix the dishwasher at 10 p.m. and still be up at 6 a.m.
to pack his lunch.
We were cruising toward that “empty nest” phase with something like relief.
And then there’s my mother.
Mom is 82. Mentally, she’s sharp enough to slice you in half with one well-placed comment, but her body is falling apart on her. In January, she slipped in her kitchen, fell, and fractured her hip.
Suddenly, the fiercely independent woman who used to mow her own lawn was stuck in a recliner counting pain pills.
My father died at 73 of a sudden stroke. One minute he was arguing with me about whether I graded too harshly; the next he was gone. He’d worked hard his whole life and left Mom more than comfortable—farmland, stocks, the house they’d lived in for 40 years.