The heatwave that July was relentless, a suffocating blanket that turned the Pennsylvania suburbs into a convection oven. It was the kind of heat that shimmered off the asphalt in wavy lines, distorting the horizon and making the air feel like a physical weight pressing against your chest. The cicadas screamed in the trees, a ceaseless, grinding drone that set your teeth on edge.
I pulled my Buick up to the curb, two blocks away from my daughter Sarah’s house. I turned off the engine and sat for a moment, listening to the ticking of the cooling metal, feeling the sweat bead at my hairline despite the air conditioning. My hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles were white, the leather biting into my palms.
Something was wrong.
It wasn’t a feeling I could explain to a judge or a police officer. It wasn’t evidence. It was a vibration in the air, a scent on the wind. It was the maternal radar that had kept my children alive through fevers and teenage rebellion. It was the way Sarah sounded on the phone yesterday—too cheerful, too breathless, like she was reciting a script while someone held a gun to her head.
“Everything is great, Mom! Greg bought me roses! We’re so happy! Just… don’t come over this week, okay? We’re busy painting the nursery.”
There was no nursery to paint. She wasn’t pregnant.
Happy people don’t sound like they’re drowning. Happy people don’t make excuses to keep their mothers away.
I got out of the car, carrying a covered casserole dish—my famous lasagna, heavy with cheese and homemade sauce. It was the perfect Trojan Horse. Who turns away a grandmother bearing lasagna? It was dense, comforting, and disarming.
As I walked down the street, feeling the heat radiate through the soles of my shoes, I replayed the last visit in my mind. Three weeks ago. A barbecue in their backyard. Sarah had worn a thick, knitted turtleneck sweater.